Monday, May 9, 2016

Game 2-3: Braves v Dbacks May 7-8, 2016

This team is wearing down my will already y'all. I completely skipped the third game of this series because it was a day game, and I was going on a 9-mile hike with my family and enjoying the weather. And you know what? I'm not sorry I made that decision. There's better things to do with your life on a weekend afternoon than watch this team. I'll suffer with them at night when there's little else to do, but during a nice day? You're doing yourself a disservice if you sit and watch the Braves. It's the sad reality.

So where are we now? Oh yeah, we lost Game 2, the game I said was a must-win. You know why I said that? Because if we lost the game, I'd give up all hope of this roster doing anything entertaining for the rest of its (hopefully) short construction. Mentally, I think we can all check out on this version of the Braves until they bring up Ozzie Albies, Rio Ruiz, Dansby Swanson, and Tyrell Jenkins to play with Mallex, Chase, Folty, Blair, Wisler, Julio, Freddie, Nicky, and whatever catcher we deem doesn't suck that day.

Thinking I'm being overdramatic? Oh, but allow me to elaborate with some stats!

- Bartolo Colon hit a homer this weekend. He's a 43 year old fat pitcher. He now has more homers than Markakis, AJ, Flowers, Frenchy, Kelly, Jace Peterson, Aybar, Castro, Beckham, and Inciarte.

- The Braves are now the only team in MLB that has zero triples on the year. ZERO. In fact, they've given up a triple to an opposing pitcher this weekend, so opposing pitchers have more triples than the Braves.

- If the Braves current winning percentage held through the season, and the other teams played as they are playing in the division, they would be eliminated from the playoffs in mid-August. With 1.5 months left of baseball to play.

- BJ Upton's OPS, which is .691 on the year and not good at all, would be 3rd on this team among players with 50+ ABS.

- The Braves have exactly 5 players out of their 25 man roster with positive bWAR. Chase, Folty, Freeman, Markakis, and Mallex. They have 10 players with negative bWAR. The other 10 are essentially 0.0 replacement level players.

- The Braves have the second highest ground ball percentage in the majors at 49%. This is only behind the Marlins. And ground balls never leave the ballpark.

- It's been over 100 years since a team started 1-15 at home to begin a season. If anything, the TED is a cursed graveyard, sucking the souls out of all their fans to feed its nihilistic rage at being abandoned before it was old enough to drink legally.

I could go on, but I won't. Mostly because you get the point. Until the Braves call up the young guys to give us something positive to watch as we struggle, and until they finally dump the lame-duck manager that nobody in the clubhouse is playing for right now, this team is not worth watching. Period. I never thought we would get to this point, but it's the new reality of baseball under this total teardown.

Braves lose 4-2
Braves lose 5-3 in 11 innings and get swept at home again.

GO BRAVES!

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