Thursday, April 30, 2015

Braves and Reds: Dear Lord Find Us Pitching

Title says it all. Braves need to stop pitching like they are throwing water balloons at each other. On to the matchups!

Game 1 - Miller v. Leake
Game 2 - Somebody (Folty?) v. DeSclafani
Game 3 - Stults v. Marquis
Game 4 - Teheran v. Cueto

That right FOUR GAMES! Wooooo! Let's get to chopping, Shelby. We need you! You're our only functional pitcher at the moment. Braves have won every game so far that Shelby has pitched. Miller is the only guy who has an ERA near 2.00 currently on the roster. He's the Ace right now, plain and simple. And that's not even close to what we thought going into the season, but you do you, Shelby. Keep living the dream. He's facing Mike Leake, a guy who is pitching deep into games, but not pitching well at all. He's giving up 9 runs in 3 starts, but he's also going 7 innings minimum. This is probably due to the fact that Cincinnati's bullpen is the absolute worst in MLB. Cincinnati's bullpen ERA is 5.86. To give you an idea of how bad that is, Atlanta is 28th and we're at 4.52 ERA. Cincy is a greasefire in the pen.

Game two is probably Foltenyvitch (spellcheck?) Foltynewicz apparently. I'll never get that right. Thanks Google. Folty has been pitching great in AAA, and Trevor Cahill who was supposed to start here is pitching like molten hot sewage. So, we're going a different direction. Folty will get the start against Deslafani, who I think is the child of Gwen Stefani and a Tesla. Either way, very Italian. Also, very very good. Deslafani has been lighting up the radar gun and other teams. He has 21 strikeouts in 4 starts, a 1.04 ERA, a 0.77 WHIP, and basically he's the best starter in the NL right now. No joke, he really is. He's ahead of Scherzer, the former CY Young winner in ERA. This matchup is a disaster in the making if we're throwing our AAA guy against their Ace. I have no real hope for this one, but I didn't have hope if Cahill was pitching, so who knows?

Game three will be Saturday and I will be in attendance. And I will be graced with two old farts on the mound. Eric Stults is 35 and steadily improving. Jason Marquis is 36 and also steadily improving. Both guys had terrible starts, so the ERA's are over 4.00 and 5.00 respectively. But given the fact that the bullpens are both awful right now, I expect the managers to leave them both in as long as possible. I have a feeling we're going to see some runs in this one, sooner or later. Or AARP Discounts.

The final game is Teheran, and I've outlined everything I think is wrong with him in the prior article. He goes against Cueto, who is basically the second Ace on the Reds along with the Holla-Back Electric Car child. Again, this is a disaster waiting to happen unless Julio magically turns it around. If not, the Reds hitters aren't missing fastballs down the middle, I assure you. Joey Votto will plant one in the drum in center field. But wait, there's a rub here. Cameron Maybin AND Eric Young Jr both hit Cueto very well. Might we see both in the outfield for the first time? We'll fine out Sunday.

CPA Predictions:

The CPA couldn't predict the Braves giving up 30 runs. I'll just go ahead and say that now. So it got smoked for an 0-2 on the series, and now it's at 7-10 and -6.00 units. Not good. Maybe better this time. Maybe if they pitch. Or if the numbers start to even out at all. We're seeing a ton of historical outliers by the Braves in a bad way.

Game 1 - Braves by 1
Game 2 - Reds by 2
Game 3 - Braves by 2
Game 4 - Reds by 3

So there you go, the CPA likes a split. That honestly wouldn't shock me, and I frankly wouldn't mind that. You always will take a split in 4 game series, and then get greedy if you win the first two. Let's hope that happens.


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